What should I do if I feel resistance when sending love to myself?

Feeling resistance when sending love to yourself during loving-kindness meditation is a common experience, and it often stems from deep-seated beliefs, self-criticism, or past experiences. The first step is to acknowledge this resistance without judgment. Recognize that it is a natural part of the process and does not mean you are failing at meditation. Instead, view it as an opportunity to explore and heal underlying emotional patterns.\n\nTo work through resistance, begin by grounding yourself. Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. Focus on the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body. This helps create a sense of safety and presence. Once you feel grounded, start by directing loving-kindness toward someone you easily feel love for, such as a close friend or family member. This can help you reconnect with the feeling of love before turning it inward.\n\nWhen you feel ready to direct love toward yourself, use a simple phrase like, "May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be at peace." Repeat this silently or aloud. If resistance arises, pause and observe it. Ask yourself, "What is this resistance trying to tell me?" Often, it reveals limiting beliefs like "I don’t deserve love" or "I’m not good enough." Acknowledge these thoughts without engaging with them. Imagine them as clouds passing through the sky of your mind.\n\nIf the resistance feels overwhelming, try a gentler approach. Instead of focusing on love, start with acceptance. Use phrases like, "May I accept myself as I am" or "May I be kind to myself in this moment." This can soften the resistance and make it easier to gradually build self-compassion. You can also visualize yourself as a child or imagine a loved one sending you love. This can help bypass the critical mind and tap into a deeper sense of care.\n\nScientific research supports the benefits of loving-kindness meditation for reducing self-criticism and increasing self-compassion. Studies have shown that regular practice can rewire the brain to respond more positively to self-directed emotions. For example, a 2013 study published in the journal *Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience* found that loving-kindness meditation increased activity in brain regions associated with empathy and emotional regulation.\n\nTo make this practice more effective, set aside a few minutes each day for loving-kindness meditation. Consistency is key. Over time, you may notice the resistance softening and a greater sense of self-acceptance emerging. If you encounter persistent resistance, consider journaling about your feelings or seeking support from a therapist or meditation teacher. Remember, self-love is a journey, not a destination.\n\nPractical tips for overcoming resistance include starting small, being patient with yourself, and celebrating small victories. For example, if you feel even a slight shift in your ability to send love to yourself, acknowledge it as progress. Over time, these small shifts can lead to profound transformation. Keep practicing, and trust that you are worthy of the love you are cultivating.